What a title! It certainly has no clear-cut definition. To put a definition on motherhood would be a bit like trying to nail Jello to the wall, so I am not even going to try.
I’ve heard it said that being a mom is the toughest, worst paying, yet most rewarding job a woman could have. I have to disagree!
Being a mom is not a job. It isn’t a career choice that your high-school guidance counselor had a brochure for. I sure as heck didn’t apply, interview, and land it. But “Mom” is the best title I have ever, and will ever, have!
There are no set hours, and there is no retirement plan. There are no procedure manuals, no parts books or instructions on how to get a tiny human to nurse, to learn to walk, talk, or dress themselves. Being a mom should be simple: I mean, women have been doing this since Eve first gave birth all those years ago.
So why the heck has it become so hard to give birth to your mini-me and then raise them to be decent members of society?
There are countless Facebook groups, books, podcasts, television shows, Instagram accounts, and a lot of other resources out there intended to make mom’s life “easier”. The problem though, is that well meaning people tend to believe their experiences have shaped them into experts on any given topic. And then there are others waiting in line to pounce on our bad choices, beliefs, lack of education and the shame we feel about the way we do anything. Thus, easily making us feel less than qualified to do anything with or for our kids. And let’s not forget the billions of Pinterest boards with quotes about how to the perfect mother: if you would just open your heart to God; spend more time playing with your kids; have more date nights; drink less; eat less; eat more fruit; drink more water; buy organic; don’t buy organic; vaccinate your kids; don’t vaccinate your kids unless you want them to end up with some awful disease that is worse than what the vaccinations are for; be yourself, yet change everything about yourself for your kids. Do you see how hard we make this in ourselves?
I think our mom’s had it easier when the best advice they got came from the veterinarian or Paul Harvey.
Whether you work in town, work from home, or raise your babies without bringing in a paycheck, if you are trying to raise babies while being tied to agriculture, you definitely signed up for a whole ‘nother level of craziness. Maybe you farm and you spend countless hours in the tractor while your kiddos sleep behind the seat or on the floor; or maybe you ranch and spend time chasing cows and wonder when you are going to find time to fix fence/put miles on your new horse/ be involved in your child’s life while trying to wrangle everything. Maybe you are like me and hold down a full time job, have kids in school/daycare and spend your hours at work wondering how badly you are screwing up your kids life by being a working mom.
In the end, all that matters is that you are trying- no matter what you believe about yourself, your kids believe you are a rock-star superhero- even when they get cold cereal for supper and eat candy for breakfast (once in awhile)!
Moms out there- I hope you know that you would have to screw up pretty darn bad to ruin your kids’ lives. Chances are that you are trying your hardest to keep your kids healthy and to make responsible choices that will keep your kids out of trouble. Maybe your kids are tired of riding in the tractor for hours or don’t like having to help clean out the calving shed. Maybe your kids make you crazy with their endless whining, bickering, and lack of general respect for you and their dad.
But let me also tell you this: chances are, someday they are going to thank you for everything you have done for them. They will probably make fun of the way you burnt supper more times than not, or freaked out on them when you just couldn’t listen to the “sad song from Trolls” one more time.
God chose you to bring that life into this world!
Even though it doesn’t always feel like He is nearby helping you stay calm, you need to remember that He knows you are going to make mistakes. You will say things you don’t mean, you will lose your temper and your mind. And that’s okay, because there isn’t a mom out there that has it all together.
Remember this when the urge to be a mother hen strikes: in Matthew 7:1-2, Jesus Himself said,
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Worry about what goes on in your own home, be supportive when other mom’s ask for your input, but leave the rest to God.
God has your back. God has a plan that is more awesome than any of us could know.
Your job is to believe in His plan! Keep doing what works for you and your family. Look to God for encouragement, advice, and forgiveness. Being a mom isn’t easy under any circumstance- but here you are, rocking it like you were made for it!